Not up to blogging

I decided at the start of this month to blog everyday but i am not the kind of person to blog for the sake of blogging. I feel that i have done better than I would have but then I refuse to put pressure on myself to write when there is nothing to write about.

Have a great till I see you next.

Jen

finally back, not doing well with nablopomo

mmm.. long day today. long week really. Been to the gym twice this week and worked again today. I love cleaning houses... not mine though. lol

Unfortunately though, the lady who I am helping has hurt her leg again which is really hoorrible as she isn't feeling well. She also has bronchitis (sp) it is good for me as I have work with her till she is better but still, I hate that she isn't in the best of health.

I also have gym tomorrow. I think I will do some extra. I have a PT session but want to do some cardio as well. I believe I will do 20 mins each of tredmill, x-trainer and bike, then do my session with the PT. He is going to make a weights routine for me.

sorry this is lame. NEED SLEEP

Jen

sorry bout the one liner, have a migraine, going to bed.

Posting quickly

I did my first gym session today and loved it.

Really need sleep but will edit this tomorrow sometime describing how I went.

Am going again tomorrow.

Jen

too tired, running late.

I went to see the guys that sung this song tonight (which is why I am late). They are my ultimate favourite band. I even used one of their songs to walk out of the church when I was married. It brought back so many memories.

Sorry this is not real interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fpWH81f-Uo

Jen

Really don't feel like bloging

Feel free to skip this post. LOL

Had a good day today. A little sore from working yesterday but I am doing ok. I went to a park and fit down the slide with just a slight bit of thigh hit. haven't been eating the greatest but i am doing well I think. Just have to really make sure I stay strong and not give in. I have to eat properly. not that I am eating too bad but just not as well as I think I should.

can't remember if I mentioned this yesterday but I bought new shorts for going to the gym and had to get a size 18. I haven't been that in ages. the last time I fitted in to big W clothes was at at least a 22 even if that fitted. I had tried on some 26's and not fitted them. The best part is that I tried on a 16 and almost fitted them also... it was just a tad too tight in my butt. LOL

I go to the gym for my assessment on Monday. The first PT session that comes free so you know what you are doing. I am a bit nervous but I think it will go ok.

Had better go, am really tired today.

Jen

I HAVE A JOB!!!

I worked as a cleaning fairy yesterday. Ok well I vacuumed for 4 hours yesterday but then if you have been reading my blog you would know that.

Today I did the house that is mine to do. I was sooo paranoid, I thought that I did a really bad job... well not good enough anyway. I got a phone call today saying that I did really well and that the lady said I did better than her last 2 cleaning ladies.

This made me think about how I tend to worry too much. I really have to stop that. I did well and I had pride in my work.

Not sure what to say now. I am just amazed how a good days work really makes you feel as though you have done some good. And stops you being lazy.

I am going to head to bed but will be back tomorrow

Jen

Again a long day

I went and worked today. I am sorry if you don't believe in God and may get offended but I believe He is doing some amazing things in my life.

I joined a gym yesterday. I am really scared but can't wait to go. I believe God found a way for us to pay the fees. Then I was thinking about what I would wear... this is not me being vain, this is me no longer having any shorts that fit me (they are too loose). I was rather worried, I mean, it was a struggle for me to get to the gym membership but having to buy clothes was just too much. Then God gave me a job. It is only for today and next Thursday but it is $60 each time and today as we were going in to one of the houses (am helping a lady who tore cartledge (sp?) in her knee and couldn't vacuum) "A" decided to bring the mop in. She normally doesn't do this as the people have their own mop but she thought that theirs was getting old so she would use hers. She doesn't normally do this.
As we were about to walk up the stairs, this car drives up and asks if we were house cleaners. "A" said yes. The lady said that her cleaners just quit and didn't ring but just didn't turn up and that she was looking for a cleaner. "A" promptly said that I was looking for work. So now I have a job that pays $15 an hour once a fortnight starting tomorrow. This pays all bar $3 of my gym fees and it is a little extra for things we might need (It paid for my tea tonight as I went out with some friends).

The above is not something that happens every day, things are just running sooo smoothly and the way that it is happenning I truely believe that someone special (for me it is God) is creating it all. I am truely blessed.

Night all, I am really tired.

Jen

Long day but awesome

Hey all, just a quick post today.

THINGS ON MY MIND

1. I have some work for tomorrow. (vaccumming and mopping)
2. I signed up for the gym today
3. I am going out for tea with friends tomorrow night
4. Am waiting to get a PT so I can fully start the gym
5. I just cleaned up spilt eggs and then mopped my kitchen (sooo been putting it off)
6. Am really tired so am dribbling a lot ( talking rubbish, not physically doing it)
7. I am so unprepared for tomorrow
8. Am logging off here so I can write out things I need to do.
9. Wishing you all a great night/day.

Jen

Tad annoyed.

What is it with dh's or so's not listening. is it just mine or do all men instantly forget things at the very moment after something is said to them?

I shouldn't really whinge as dh is mostly good and while he has his problems, he is a pretty good bloke.

I am not even sure what to write now. and it isn't really all that big a deal but it hurts. I guess I will continue so I can get it out and deal with it. He didn't take out the rubbish last night which is his job and didn't hang out and put the load on that I asked him to today.

Normally that wouldn't bug me but he told me today that the first thing he did when he got home this morning was go to play 1 game of online scrabble then ended up playing 3. that is the bit that aggravates me, and I guess, wanting things done around the house (which I am completely fine about) but then just leaving things all over the place for me to clean up. It is just laziness and the worst thing is that Mr Magoo is following in his footsteps.

I am still a little hurt, not quite angry but will do it myself today just to get it done. I will get him to read this tonight though as when I say anything to him it doesn't really sink in and he doesn't get how much it hurts.

Will go now and eat my lunch. Am having chicken and veggies that I cooked last night in advance. I love being semi organised. :0)

Jen

Beyond tired but feeling awesome

It has been a long day, haven't really done much but, it feels long. lol

It is 20 mins past my bed time and I am real tired for a change. I think I might make the most of it.

Mr Magoo has leg pains tionight (I suspect growing pains) and dh is in bed already.

I watched the funniest movie today. Wild Hogs. It is beyond funny. Go and see it.

I REALLY have to go. eyes closing.

Night

Jen

Oh my :oO

I have had pretty much no computer time at all this past weekend as DH was playing scrabble online. lol

Will back post what I wrote for the past couple of days a bit later :ie when ds goes to bed but before dh comes home.

Jen

body clutter mission chapter 1

FIRST MEMORY OF COMFORT FOOD
Jelly beans and soft lollies (especially cigars and teeth) Dad gave them to me. there was a sneakyness about it. It was like a game in our family. I could only have some if Dad didn't see me take it.He would hold the bag/container out towards me but turn his head so he couldn't see me.it was a really big thing when my step mum was around.

FAVOURITE FOOD WHEN NEEDING COMFORT
Mashed potato and garlic salt sandwiches

LOOKING BACK, WHY DO i LOVE IT SO MUCH?
I don't any more but when I did, it was because it was warm and made me feel less empty and it was always available for me to eat.

FIRST MEMORY OF USING IT
It was just after I moved out of home for the first time. I had a whole heap of emotions swirling around but asn't able to talk to my Dad as my step mum wouldn't allow it. At my aunties, we always had left over potato (I am guessing that there were other vegies also) and having it with a sandwich was just too tempting. It gave me the feeling of being cared for.

Thanks for listening. Sorry if it is boring

Jen

Saturday's musings on Body Clutter.

I have started to read body clutter again with a friend. we had to read the intro and the 1st chapter. Here is what I gleamed from the pages. LOL

"Who I am does not equal my dress size." page xix line 10
This was a weird concept for me. I mean, I used to gain weight (subconciously) to hide, to turn people off, as a mechanism to hide away from everyone. I am learning that this was a whole load of rubbish. My dress size is nothing. I am who I am and nothing can change that. I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin. I know I want to do more but I am genuinely starting to become happy with who I am and how my life is. Granted, some of it suxs but it isn't really that bad. The fact that I am learning this at 26 is awesome. I was going to be 21 next year (I missed out on a 21st) instead of being 27 but you know what. I am going to embrace me.

"not all mindless eating is triggered by pain" page 4 paragraph 3 line 1
the book mentioned that we can eat mindlessly when we starve ourselves to the point of then binging. I don't think this is the only form of mindlessly eating. I can't count the ammount of times I have started reading a book with a full packet of chips and a big block of chocolate to find the book read and both packets empty. was I hungry??? nope but did I mindlessly eat. abso-blooming-lutely

"food only seemed all-powerful when I gave it power" page 8 paragraph 2 line 4
In the past 12 weeks (I have been doing a health challenge) I have learnt how true this statement really is. Food hasn't had power over me. I controlled it not it me and I have been being blessed because of it. I have lost 10.8kg of weight and many tonnes more of emotional baggage. I am free-er than I have been almost my whole life and I am learning who I really am.
This experience both in the book by FLYlady and Leanne and in the health challenge has changed who I am from the inside out.

If you want a reccommendation of an awesome book... get body clutter.

Jen

Running late but confidant. :o)

This whole journal thing is new for me.

Don't get me wrong... I have journals and blogs but only tend to use them when I am really emotional or, no scrap that, it is only when I am emotional. lol

I tended to think I was just plain boring and there was nothing much to my life but reading other friends blogs, I am realising that I am doing well. Not everyone is going to care about me and what goes on but that is ok as this is a journey for me. It doesn't matter if no one else reads this as long as I am growing all the time.

Sorry to keep this short, have a lot to do today with ds (darling son to be named in here from now on as Mr Magoo). he is home from school again today just to make sure he isn't sick still.
will be back later tonight.

Jen

Day 1 (for me) of NaBloPoMo

Today I have done rather well with posting. This is the third entry today for me.

It has been a long day. Mr Magoo was off from school again today just to make sure he is totally well. He is. lol. He hasn't stopped all day. I am working on issues at home, in my marraige and in myself. here will help me to deal with them all and grow.

I look forward to sharing and changing things.

talk later,

Jen

Officially in NaBloPoMo

After hearing about NaBloPoMo, I decided to give it a go.

blogs will be the same here and there. with maybe a few more here. lol

Talk later

Jen