long week, but more so, things thought about.

Hey,

I have been thinking a whole heap on different things lately. On Saturday I had one of my friends od on medication and alcohol. I never expected it to shake me up because I hadn't allowed me to really grasp what it means. It helped that I hadn't seen her in a while or since she did it. But today, just after dropping off ds to school... i got this phone call asking if I would go to he house to look after while her mum went out.

I didn't really want to, I mean this morning was horrible for me and I just wanted to do the things I needed to do, exercise/clean/rest/study/look after ds but I knew that if I didn't S's mum would be really hurt and feel betrayed. I did the martyr thing and went. It was horrible. S was completely out of it with the hospital bands still on her hands and bandages where she had drips and stuff coming out of her arms. she has always been so bubbly and to see her not be able to stay awake and crying from the pain was almost too much for me. She did sleep alot but I was left wondering what if her friends didn't come when she called them and told them what she took. what if her liver had bleed (it had holes in it). All I thought about was that she could have died. If she drinks again, her liver could bleed and she would die a horrible painful death.

She is 8 years younger than me only just out of her teens and she has had so many things happen to her in her short life. she has had problems medically, dr's have messed up, she can't have kids (which she has wanted to do ever since I have known her.), one of the married guys from church has been cracking on to her which has made her feel really bad. Her parents haven't been the greatest at all and she is just so young.

I don't know...

I guess that I just thought that none of this would affect me ever and now that it has, i am at a loss as to what to do, how to make a difference and be a friend. i was never fully close to her but wonder now "Why not?" the poor kid.

I had better go or I won't get Mr Magoo in time.

bbl